Good evening, dear readers:
My apologies for the lack of posts; I’ve been busy. In fact, so busy that I’ve not been able to finish reading my daily Wall Street Journal. I was doing some clicking tonight and discovered two articles on our beloved American snack cakes, Twinkies.
Yes, I’m talking about the return of your Twinkies. From WSJ.com:
Hostess Brands confirmed this afternoon that it has agreed to sell its snack cake business, including that legendary cream-filled yellow cake, to private equity group Apollo Global Management and Metropoulos & Co. The duo will pay $410 million for the brands, five bakeries and some equipment in a deal that now requires a judge’s signature.
Yes, indeed–and we may have them back as soon as this summer. Now, I really want one.
Are you excited yet? I thought I was excited after I got my printer to start working properly again this afternoon. Woo hoo!! I can’t wait to walk into a convenience store and find them so I can try one for the first time since the 1970s!
Hostess Brands has sold not only Twinkies, but also Ho Hos, Ding Dongs and Donettes. (No word on Ziggy yet.) Still not sold are Drake’s cakes, brands Sweetheart, Eddy’s, Standish Farms and Grandma Emilie’s; “stalking horse bids” are being entertained by Hostess for those. Next week’s bankruptcy hearing will request a judge’s approval on the sale of Wonder Bread and other breads to Flowers Foods for $360 million and Grupo Bimbo’s $31.9 million offer for Beefsteak assets.
Is this a great country, or what? Only in America, folks!!
One writer opined about how to sell Twinkies again with more health-conscious Americans reading labels, after the new owner hinted that they might consider updated versions of the chemically laden treats:
That means you could—we repeat, could—one day see low-fat Twinkies. Or whole-wheat Twinkies. Or low-carb Twinkies. Or organic Twinkies.
Sorry. . .what? No, with the legalization of cannabis in a couple of states, anyone with the munchies is just NOT going to care about low-fat, low-carb, whole wheat or “organic Twinkies.” Give me a break.
While I’ve never touched cannabis, I have, on occasion, had a sudden need for something sweet, fast and handy (even if it made me god-awful sick later.) Call it what you like, but in that condition, cannabis or no, a true Twinkies aficionado is going to want the real thing–sugar, flour, cream and all–without a shred of concern for nutritional value.
And, think about it, that’s likely WHY it was such a short time between Hostess’ shutdown and the sale. They KNOW there’s going to be a lot of people in certain states with legally loopy citizens wandering around with the munchies looking for Twinkies, and NOW.
Makes me wish I could have bought it. Or at least a distributorship in each of those states.
Yes, we have war, poverty, strife, a dismal economy, and a thousand other ills. But in America, the greatest country in the world, we’re going to have Twinkies again.
What a country.